its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
