I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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