did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
