"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
