she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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