Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize