when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
