I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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