i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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