PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
