Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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