hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
