Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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