It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
My liver just had a heart attack.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Randomize
