His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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