Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
