He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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