She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
