It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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