I cockslap morals
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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