I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
