someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
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