i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
