Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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