Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
