At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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