It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
