I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
