He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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