and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
