sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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