Dude my mom stole all your condoms
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize