Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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