it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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