so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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