Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
