that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
