I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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