i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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