I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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