you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
