I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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