I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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