Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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