Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
