I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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