then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
