i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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