Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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