just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
