Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
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