I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize