My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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