it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Randomize
