I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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