I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
