Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
