i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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