The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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