I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
