How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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